It hasn't been easy, these first few
months of adjusting to being parents. But, oh my, has it been beautiful!
We are learning so much, David and I, as individuals, as a
couple, as a family. Throughout life I have faced seasons of feeling like my life
is a knotted mass of nothingness. God always redeems those times and
shows me I am but looking at the back of the tapestry! But, in this
season, I rejoice to say that I am getting little glimpses of the front
of the tapestry. Even on chaotic days, life feels more like the pulling and
threading and stretching of purpose and beauty than it does a tangled
mess. I cannot express the joy and, honestly, the relief I feel to be able to say that.
A Word about God
In the first few weeks of motherhood, God brought me to Isaiah 28. It was just where I was in reading through the Bible. In reality, I wasn't very excited about it. I was snagging a few moments of peace while Maggie wasn't needing me and I felt less than motivated to spend that time reading, especially from Isaiah. I thought, maybe I'll just turn to the Psalms. Isaiah has wonderful parts but there's a lot of the in between that's about judgment and exile and remnants. I don't think this is really for me today. Once I started to read, I knew it was for me. Written a few thousand years ago, but in the beautiful, living nature with which God designed the Word, for me. Not about me, but a Word about God that He knew I needed to be taught.
You see, Isaiah 28 is all about judgment and exile and remnant. But when you get down to it, that makes Isaiah 28 about life.
"In that day the Lord of hosts will be a crown of glory,
and a diadem of beauty, to the remnant of his people,
and a diadem of beauty, to the remnant of his people,
and a spirit of justice to him who sits in judgment,
and strength to those who turn back the battle at the gate."
and strength to those who turn back the battle at the gate."
Isaiah 28:5-6
A Word from God
I'm right there with the disobedient and the weary. I deserve reprimand but God gives rejoicing. I was doubting God's call. God was calling me still. To think of embarking for the Pacific while holding a newborn and being in the throes of a new family phase was overwhelming and heartbreaking when I wanted it to be everything but that. My Father was gracious to say, "Yes, you may feel the battle is at your gates, yet I will be your victory. You may feel exiled, oppressed, questioning, yet I will be your purpose and your answers. Don't get caught in the mire. By grace, I will be the forward Motion and the Beauty of your life."
"Does he who plows for sowing plow continually?
Does he continually open and harrow his ground?
Does he continually open and harrow his ground?
When he has leveled its surface,
does he not scatter dill, sow cumin,
and put in wheat in rows
and barley in its proper place...?
does he not scatter dill, sow cumin,
and put in wheat in rows
and barley in its proper place...?
For he is rightly instructed;
his God teaches him."
his God teaches him."
Isaiah 28:24-26
A Word for Faith
As I go about my day writing emails while I nurse, making
schedules and adjusting spreadsheets while our baby girl attempts
crying herself to sleep, and doing homework with one eye tracking
constantly over to that precious sleeping face ... I am so thankful to
be able to "work from home" (as hard as it is some days to get ANYTHING
done) and am just blown away that this "work" is for the sake of the
gospel. That each moment, by the grace of God and work of His Spirit, is
ultimately spent for both my family and the people
of the Pacific who have never known the Bible for themselves, to be able
grow up in Faith by the hearing of the Word. It's beautiful.